Little Matty Eats Things
Matthew Kent, Jr. clung tightly to his mother’s arm as they walked down the long hallway, toward the
principal’s office. The murmur of children’s voices and the unfamiliar school smells of freshly waxed
linoleum, white board markers, and dirty sneakers assaulted his senses. He knew this was a bad place. By
the time they reached the office door, tears streamed freely down his cheeks.
“It’s okay, Little Matty,” his mother said, picking him up and holding him to her breast. “Don’t be scared.
We’ve been through this before. Remember last year in Tulsa? We’ll get through it this time, too, I promise.”
Matty sniffled, looking unconvinced. “But maybe this time they’ll make me go. They can’t make me go, can
they, Mommy?” he asked.
“No baby, they can’t,” she said. “Maybe they’ll listen to reason this time. But if they don’t, it doesn’t really
matter. Because if they upset you... well, things will just take care of themselves, you know?”
Matty sighed and nodded. His mother kissed his cheek, wiped away his tears, and set him on his feet. She
knocked on the door and they entered the office.
“I’m Katherine Kent and we have an appointment to see Principal Phillips,” she told the receptionist.
“He’s expecting you. Please follow me,” said the pleasant older lady, as she ushered them into a
conference room.
A tall, distinguished looking man rose as she entered the room.
“Mrs. Kent. Please come in. I’m Roger Phillips,” he said.
“Katherine Kent,” she said, offering her hand. “And this is Matthew, Jr. We call him Little Matty.”
“Hello, Matty,” said Phillips. Matty burrowed deeply into his mother’s side, avoiding the principal’s eyes. The
low, booming voice and white beard frightened him. Matty didn’t like men. Women like his mother were
gentle, soft, and protective. Men were hard, loud, and mean. His father had been that way.
“Well then, let’s get down to business,” said Phillips, gesturing for them to be seated.
“From what I understand, you moved to Columbus about a year ago. And Little Matty here just turned
seven. Is that right?”
“Yes, it is,” said Katherine.
“Mrs. Kent, are you aware of our state laws requiring children of Matty’s age to attend either a public or
private school, or to participate in a certified home schooling program?”
“Well, I suppose I am, but Little Matty is different from the other children. He wouldn’t fit in, I assure you.”
“I see,” said the principal. “Why is that?”
“Well, he eats things, you see.”
“Excuse me?”
“He eats things. Especially when he gets upset. “
“Mrs. Kent, Matty’s awfully young to have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. But if that’s the case, we
have staff who can help,” said Phillips. “Our school has both social workers and psychologists available to
help children with special needs. And if he’s on any kind of medicate –”
“No, you don’t understand,” said Katherine. “It’s the kinds of things he eats.”
“I don’t follow you, ma’am,” said Phillips.
“Well, for example, you probably haven’t noticed, but the pencil and pad of paper that were here in front of
me are already gone.”
“Are you suggesting Matty ate them?”
“I’m not suggesting, Mr. Phillips. I’m telling you that’s what happened.”
“Mrs. Kent, I’ve been sitting here all along. I believe I would have noticed that.”
“He’s a fast eater.”
“I see,” said Phillips. “Okay then. Let’s have a go at this from another direction. When do you think this
eating problem started?”
“I suppose he’s always been that way. He was born with a full set of teeth, you know.”
“Is that so?”
Days like this made Phillips long for retirement, still an interminable two years away. Of course, it was not
without its humor. This would be a good one to add to that book he planned to write some day. And at the
very least, his wife would get a good laugh out of it.
“He ate baby bottles, stuffed toys…he even gnawed his way out of his crib once. I’m just glad I never tried to
breast feed him,” said Katherine.
Only years of dealing with petty school boards, disgruntled staff, and crazed parents, gave Phillips the
strength to choke back the chuckle aching to come out. Instead, he politely coughed into his hand, covering
the smile he hadn’t been able to squelch.
“Then, of course, there was the time he ate the cat,” continued Katherine.
That was too much. Unable to control himself any longer, Phillips exploded with laughter.
Katherine glared at him. “I’m glad you find this amusing, Mr. Phillips, but perhaps I should discuss this
situation with someone who doesn’t have your keen sense of humor.”
Phillips pulled himself together. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Kent. Honestly. I don’t take what you’re saying lightly at all.
It’s just that... well... it’s very hard to imagine such a small boy eating a cat.” Phillips chuckled again, despite
himself.
“Nevertheless, sir, every bit of what I’ve told you is the truth. Every bit of it.”
Phillips leaned back in his chair, regaining his composure. It was obvious now that he could not resolve this
situation as quickly as he had originally anticipated. This woman did not appear to be willing to budge, and
her fantasies all but made it impossible to reason with her. He could call the school district’s attorney and
handle this through the courts, but the school board hated that kind of mess. Maybe he’d try a different tack.
“Mrs. Kent, I sense we’re not making much progress today. I’m sure some of the fault is mine and I
apologize. Still, the law requires us to deal with this problem. Perhaps if you could come back tomorrow with
Mr. Kent, we might have a more fruitful meeting,” said Phillips.
“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Mr. Phillips,” said Katherine. “You see, Big Matt isn’t with us anymore,” she
said, slowly shifting her eyes toward Matty.
“Mrs. Kent. You’re not suggesting… oh, come now. Really. You’re saying that your son ate…that’s just… it’s
just too much,” said Phillips. “Mrs. Kent, I’d prefer to leave the authorities out of this, but if you insist on
making these outrageous claims, you really leave me no alternative.”
“They never listen, do they, Little Matty,” sighed Katherine. “I guess it’s time.”
She turned to Phillips. “Perhaps you should get Little Matty’s perspective before you make any decisions.”
“Of course,” said Phillips. “I’d be happy to do that. What would you like to tell me, son?”
“I’ll have to show you, mister,” said Matty. He walked over to the principal and climbed onto his lap.
Phillips’s initial amusement turned into ever-increasing unease, as Matty opened his mouth and unhinged
his lower jaw with an audible pop. He could see now that Matty had two, possibly three rows of teeth, one
behind the other.
As Matty moved his gaping mouth over the top of Phillips’s head, then down across his face, the principal
sat transfixed, staring into the long, wide tunnel of Matty’s maw. Matty tightened his jaws, and Phillips felt an
increasing amount of pressure, running from the back of his head to just under his chin. The grinding,
sucking, almost mechanical sound finally caught his attention. Phillips thought that, perhaps he should
scream, but before he could, his head imploded, and Matty began sucking down its contents.
Once he consumed the head, Matty’s mouth expanded even more, slipping down over both of Phillips’s
shoulders. Katherine watched as Matty continued eating his way down the principal’s torso, eventually
wolfing down both legs and feet until there was nothing left. As she expected, there was no mess. Matty
always cleaned up after himself. Good breeding always shows, she thought.
Five minutes later, Matty and Katherine walked out of the conference room smiling.
“Principal Phillips asked me to tell you he doesn’t want to be disturbed for an hour or so,” Katherine told the
receptionist. They left the office, walked down the hallway, then out toward the parking lot.
“You know we’re going to have to move again, don’t you, Little Matty?” Katherine said, as she strapped him
into the seat.
“I know, Mommy,” he said. “It’s alright.”
“Tell you what. We’ve got an hour or so. Do you want to grab a Happy Meal before we hit the road?”
Little Matty smiled.
principal’s office. The murmur of children’s voices and the unfamiliar school smells of freshly waxed
linoleum, white board markers, and dirty sneakers assaulted his senses. He knew this was a bad place. By
the time they reached the office door, tears streamed freely down his cheeks.
“It’s okay, Little Matty,” his mother said, picking him up and holding him to her breast. “Don’t be scared.
We’ve been through this before. Remember last year in Tulsa? We’ll get through it this time, too, I promise.”
Matty sniffled, looking unconvinced. “But maybe this time they’ll make me go. They can’t make me go, can
they, Mommy?” he asked.
“No baby, they can’t,” she said. “Maybe they’ll listen to reason this time. But if they don’t, it doesn’t really
matter. Because if they upset you... well, things will just take care of themselves, you know?”
Matty sighed and nodded. His mother kissed his cheek, wiped away his tears, and set him on his feet. She
knocked on the door and they entered the office.
“I’m Katherine Kent and we have an appointment to see Principal Phillips,” she told the receptionist.
“He’s expecting you. Please follow me,” said the pleasant older lady, as she ushered them into a
conference room.
A tall, distinguished looking man rose as she entered the room.
“Mrs. Kent. Please come in. I’m Roger Phillips,” he said.
“Katherine Kent,” she said, offering her hand. “And this is Matthew, Jr. We call him Little Matty.”
“Hello, Matty,” said Phillips. Matty burrowed deeply into his mother’s side, avoiding the principal’s eyes. The
low, booming voice and white beard frightened him. Matty didn’t like men. Women like his mother were
gentle, soft, and protective. Men were hard, loud, and mean. His father had been that way.
“Well then, let’s get down to business,” said Phillips, gesturing for them to be seated.
“From what I understand, you moved to Columbus about a year ago. And Little Matty here just turned
seven. Is that right?”
“Yes, it is,” said Katherine.
“Mrs. Kent, are you aware of our state laws requiring children of Matty’s age to attend either a public or
private school, or to participate in a certified home schooling program?”
“Well, I suppose I am, but Little Matty is different from the other children. He wouldn’t fit in, I assure you.”
“I see,” said the principal. “Why is that?”
“Well, he eats things, you see.”
“Excuse me?”
“He eats things. Especially when he gets upset. “
“Mrs. Kent, Matty’s awfully young to have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. But if that’s the case, we
have staff who can help,” said Phillips. “Our school has both social workers and psychologists available to
help children with special needs. And if he’s on any kind of medicate –”
“No, you don’t understand,” said Katherine. “It’s the kinds of things he eats.”
“I don’t follow you, ma’am,” said Phillips.
“Well, for example, you probably haven’t noticed, but the pencil and pad of paper that were here in front of
me are already gone.”
“Are you suggesting Matty ate them?”
“I’m not suggesting, Mr. Phillips. I’m telling you that’s what happened.”
“Mrs. Kent, I’ve been sitting here all along. I believe I would have noticed that.”
“He’s a fast eater.”
“I see,” said Phillips. “Okay then. Let’s have a go at this from another direction. When do you think this
eating problem started?”
“I suppose he’s always been that way. He was born with a full set of teeth, you know.”
“Is that so?”
Days like this made Phillips long for retirement, still an interminable two years away. Of course, it was not
without its humor. This would be a good one to add to that book he planned to write some day. And at the
very least, his wife would get a good laugh out of it.
“He ate baby bottles, stuffed toys…he even gnawed his way out of his crib once. I’m just glad I never tried to
breast feed him,” said Katherine.
Only years of dealing with petty school boards, disgruntled staff, and crazed parents, gave Phillips the
strength to choke back the chuckle aching to come out. Instead, he politely coughed into his hand, covering
the smile he hadn’t been able to squelch.
“Then, of course, there was the time he ate the cat,” continued Katherine.
That was too much. Unable to control himself any longer, Phillips exploded with laughter.
Katherine glared at him. “I’m glad you find this amusing, Mr. Phillips, but perhaps I should discuss this
situation with someone who doesn’t have your keen sense of humor.”
Phillips pulled himself together. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Kent. Honestly. I don’t take what you’re saying lightly at all.
It’s just that... well... it’s very hard to imagine such a small boy eating a cat.” Phillips chuckled again, despite
himself.
“Nevertheless, sir, every bit of what I’ve told you is the truth. Every bit of it.”
Phillips leaned back in his chair, regaining his composure. It was obvious now that he could not resolve this
situation as quickly as he had originally anticipated. This woman did not appear to be willing to budge, and
her fantasies all but made it impossible to reason with her. He could call the school district’s attorney and
handle this through the courts, but the school board hated that kind of mess. Maybe he’d try a different tack.
“Mrs. Kent, I sense we’re not making much progress today. I’m sure some of the fault is mine and I
apologize. Still, the law requires us to deal with this problem. Perhaps if you could come back tomorrow with
Mr. Kent, we might have a more fruitful meeting,” said Phillips.
“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Mr. Phillips,” said Katherine. “You see, Big Matt isn’t with us anymore,” she
said, slowly shifting her eyes toward Matty.
“Mrs. Kent. You’re not suggesting… oh, come now. Really. You’re saying that your son ate…that’s just… it’s
just too much,” said Phillips. “Mrs. Kent, I’d prefer to leave the authorities out of this, but if you insist on
making these outrageous claims, you really leave me no alternative.”
“They never listen, do they, Little Matty,” sighed Katherine. “I guess it’s time.”
She turned to Phillips. “Perhaps you should get Little Matty’s perspective before you make any decisions.”
“Of course,” said Phillips. “I’d be happy to do that. What would you like to tell me, son?”
“I’ll have to show you, mister,” said Matty. He walked over to the principal and climbed onto his lap.
Phillips’s initial amusement turned into ever-increasing unease, as Matty opened his mouth and unhinged
his lower jaw with an audible pop. He could see now that Matty had two, possibly three rows of teeth, one
behind the other.
As Matty moved his gaping mouth over the top of Phillips’s head, then down across his face, the principal
sat transfixed, staring into the long, wide tunnel of Matty’s maw. Matty tightened his jaws, and Phillips felt an
increasing amount of pressure, running from the back of his head to just under his chin. The grinding,
sucking, almost mechanical sound finally caught his attention. Phillips thought that, perhaps he should
scream, but before he could, his head imploded, and Matty began sucking down its contents.
Once he consumed the head, Matty’s mouth expanded even more, slipping down over both of Phillips’s
shoulders. Katherine watched as Matty continued eating his way down the principal’s torso, eventually
wolfing down both legs and feet until there was nothing left. As she expected, there was no mess. Matty
always cleaned up after himself. Good breeding always shows, she thought.
Five minutes later, Matty and Katherine walked out of the conference room smiling.
“Principal Phillips asked me to tell you he doesn’t want to be disturbed for an hour or so,” Katherine told the
receptionist. They left the office, walked down the hallway, then out toward the parking lot.
“You know we’re going to have to move again, don’t you, Little Matty?” Katherine said, as she strapped him
into the seat.
“I know, Mommy,” he said. “It’s alright.”
“Tell you what. We’ve got an hour or so. Do you want to grab a Happy Meal before we hit the road?”
Little Matty smiled.
Trunk Novels
 |  |  |  |  |
| END |
If not for two very special women, all my stories would be gathering dust in a trunk somewhere. Thank you,
Jenna and Mac.
And a very special thanks to Bristol, whose encouragement means more to me than she could possibly
know.
Jenna and Mac.
And a very special thanks to Bristol, whose encouragement means more to me than she could possibly
know.